March Misfits

 

Every time I think a month can’t get any worse, March comes along. It brings slightly longer days, a bit of sun (or in this case, more rain), and a strange mix of hope, or sometimes a lack of it. I left February on a bit of a high, and then March came crashing down. I’m exhausted with this job market, and my hope is dwindling by the day. What I want for my life is simple, if only it were just as simple to get there.

Years of unemployment, suffocation, and want, and yet here I am in 2026, still there. I’m done being demure, this is the honest truth.

Before I go on any further, I have to tell you two things. One is about Bridgerton, and the other is about why I’ve been so absent from all my socials. In short, the reason isn’t Bridgerton, it’s actually the month of Ramadan, although by the time I post this, it will have ended. It’s a deeply spiritual and important time, and I’ve been trying to make the most of it.

Did you not read the monologue I wrote up top? I’m trying to build my dream life. I’ve still been researching, writing notes, and applying for jobs that are becoming as common as dinosaurs, in other words, extinct. But the longer these fasts go on, the hungrier I get, and the less energy I seem to have.

Update on Dangerous Beginnings by Myla Carbo – in short, I didn’t finish it. This is exactly why the editorial side of publishing matters so much. I don’t even want to get into it, so let’s leave that conversation here. However, I have just started Hunt the Villian by Rina Kent so I shall give updated on that next month.

I got an interview with Hachette. First, I passed the HR screening, and then I had my first-ever real interview with them, which I think went terribly. After that, I got ghosted, so I ended March literally being ghosted. I kind of knew the answer was no, but I had to email to get the concrete written rejection and feedback. After a big sigh and crying my eyes out, I’m back, still powering through, still not “enough” for the publishing world.

Only two out of eight candidates were chosen for the second interview, and unfortunately, I didn’t make the cut. That said, this is the only Big Five publisher I’ve interviewed with, along with two others, that gave me actual, usable feedback, not just a vague “you were great but not great enough.”

The role was for Sales Operations Assistant, and it would have been the perfect first step, right at the intersection of the three things I’ve always wanted to be involved in within publishing. I hope whoever got it uses the role to their advantage and has an amazing experience because I would have done anything for that opportunity.

Cue the biggest sigh ever written in contemporary romance history.

It’s hard trying to act like you’re okay when you’re so clearly not, and all you want is to just start working in publishing. I have so much to say and so much to share, yet the world hasn’t given me the chance. I guess the reason this stung so much was, first, because it was Hachette, and second, because it was the first entry-level role I could apply for there.

The publishing scene has been so quiet lately. I remember last year there were more openings by this point, and I’m desperately waiting for my chance. It’s even harder when you don’t live in London and can’t just magically create one.

What have I learned this March, then? To breathe, let go, and just be. Notice how I said learned—I’m still yet to fully implement it into my life. Easier said than done, for sure.

I’ve been defining where I want to be in publishing more this month. Ramadan slowed me down a bit, and honestly, I’m so devastated today that I have nothing more to say. I’m going to hope for a better April and end this blog here.

I guess I’ll read, it always helps me.

It has been about a week where my mental and emotional health feels completely drained, and that’s because of all the goals I haven’t completed yet. I’ve learned that you can’t change people, and it’s hard not to let their behavior dictate how you feel, but you have to do everything you can to protect your own well-being.

I’m in a situation where it feels like the walls are closing in. I’m always close to a job, but never quite close enough. The way jobs are being posted is so far apart, and I’m doing everything in my control to get there, yet here I am.

The plan is to get a job in the field I want, move to Italy, meet someone great one day, and live my life away from all the chaos. I’m 26 this year—I was bound to have a breakdown.

Anyway, let’s see what April brings. I’m too nervous to hope and too scared to step into it.

I’d love to know more about what your March has brought and how you feel about month number four of this indescribable year.

See you between the pages,
Vivian